Your Horses Dictionary :: The Big Red Horse

Your Horses Dictionary

A Horse’s View of the World

Do you ever wonder what your horse is actually thinking? Sometimes I am sure that I do not want to know what mine are thinking!

How often have you ever wondered if you are on the same page or even talking the same language? Take a look at some of the definitions from the horse’s dictionary and compare them to yours.

Arena: Place where humans can take the fun out of forward motion.

Bit: Means by which a rider’s every motion is transmitted to the sensitive tissues of the mouth.

Bucking: counter-irritant.

Crossties: Gymnastic apparatus.

Dressage: Process by which some riders can eventually be taught to respect the bit.

Fence: Barrier that protects good grazing, as the grass is almost always greener on the other site.

Grain: Sole virtue of domestication. The sweeter, the better.

Hitching rail: Means by which to test one’s strength.

Horse trailer: Mobile cave bear den.

Hotwalker: The lesser of two evils.

Jump: An opportunity for self-expression.

Latch: Type of puzzle.

Longeing: Procedure for keeping a prospective rider at bay.

Owner: Human assigned responsibility for one’s feeding.

Rider: Owner overstepping its bounds.

Farrier: Disposable surrogate owner; useful for acting out aggression without compromising food supply.

Trainer: Owner with mob connections.

Veterinarian: Flightless vulture

(Thanks to my friend Carol Green for always forwarding GREAT email content to me.)

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